Monday, December 29, 2008

My solo Not Me! Monday

I'm not sure how I get by without Not Me! Monday at this point! I stopped going to confession long ago, and since I feel like MckMama is a little bit like a saint, I think this counts. This week has been especially trying fun. All my boys are home and hubby and I were off from work so we got some good quality fighting family time in.

  • My father did not join Facebook and post pictures of my potty training. He also did not find my blog! I will have to come up with a good name for him.

  • Delicate Flower who now prefers to be referred to as Q Dawg did not projectile vomit over everything within a five foot radius. It was not mostly Doritos and the floor is not forever tinted a lovely shade of pink.

  • Monkey did not develop sympathy sickness and develop an ear infection. The medicine did not give his bottom(from the diarrhea) such an awful rash I was tempted to let him go naked.

  • Monkey did not break the new necklace from my MIL. I am not going to try to trade it in for the charm bracelets that everyone else received and I have been coveting.

  • Monkey did not act like a fish in his first bath in the big bathtub. He did not scream when it was over even though he was shivering and his lips were blue.

  • Monkey has not become very comfortable sleeping with Mommy and Daddy.

What have you not done this week? Check out all the others'. I am sure with the holidays there are bound to be some doozies! Well crud - you can't check out the others, MckMama is not hosting today. Be sure to check back next week!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Belated Merry Christmas

It was a Merry one! But after having two sick kids at home I am ready for a Happy New Year! I will have a bunch of not mes! Not that Delicate Flower would ever puck all over himself, the bed, the room, and anything else within projectile distance. The carpet will be forever pink from too many Doritos. Monkey had an ear infection. We think it was sympathy pains. But all things ended well. Delicate Flower is home with me for the holidays and I am trying to inspire the genius of John Hughes while we watch Weird Science. I can't wait to use my new food processor and whatever you do, wait for The Day the Earth Stood Still to come out on video. (We wasted our one grownup day!)

Oh I confessed to DF his nickname - his suggested names are: Q Dawg, Charlie, or RamQi - he requests a vote!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Not Me! Monday

Thank goodness for MckMama's Not Me! Monday. (Am I the only one that thinks she is a celebrity and a bit of a superwoman?) I am at least guaranteed to post once a week! Between the crazy holiday season and the fact I reset my wireless I just haven't had the time! Who am I kidding - I always have the time, but I am too lazy to go into another room to use the computer at home. At work I am way too busy playing facebook games. I am a BUSY working woman! Give me a break! Sheesh! LOL - yes I am feeling a little dramatic today, but I bet you can't wait to read what I have not done this week.

  • I did not tell my MIL that Monkey peed and then spit up a little on her bed. (Her sheets were off.) I really don't feel any ill will to MIL, and Monkey did it on accident. It was not me that was letting him play naked while I got his clothes ready.

  • Speaking of Monkey, it was not me that he threw up on the middle of the night. That would mean he still isn't sleeping and when he sleeps, he sleeps in our bed. I would never let a 8 month old baby still sleep in bed with his parents when he isn't nursing.

  • It is not me that has not finished Christmas shopping. Nor did I mail out packages today. I can say with certainly they WILL NOT get there by Christmas!

  • Delicate Flower arrived for the holidays and it is not my 13 yr child that is now 5'10". He also wasn't invited to tour the gifted and talented high school. Since my son is not failing all of his classes - I wouldn't have been surprised.

Ok - enough for today. I am not going to spend the rest of the day reading blogs and trying to finally upload some pictures of my tree that I am IN LOVE with!

Happy Holidays everyone!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Dear Dear Monkey

Dear Monkey -

Happy 8 month birthday!
It seems like just yesterday we were taking your six week pictures.

My goodness time is just whizzing by us. You are becoming quite the little man.
You are crawling everywhere and are obsessed with standing up. You do rounds endlessly in your baby jail (yes it does remind me a little bit of a prison yard) and you absolutely refuse to lie down in your crib. You hate to sleep. I can only hope that one day you will realize that 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep makes Mommy and Daddy very happy.

We are thankful that you really are a delight when you are awake. Your happy smiles and giggles make my day.

For some bizarre reason you find the word blue hilarious. It also makes you perfectly content to suck on my chin and pull my hair. I find this gross but I let you do it because I am a sucker for our little monkey.
I am so excited for your first Christmas. I know that you just like to try to eat the ornaments. Big Brother thinks it's great that you hated Santa (proven here), but I can only hope you will grown to love him!
You aren't talking yet, but I can tell you want too! We have endless conversations just by blowing raspberries at one another.
You still love to eat. Bananas and yogurt continue to be your favorite. You love to feed yourself your crackers too. (Mommy loves cracker time too, because it gives us time to eat dinner.)
I could go on about how much I love you, but Mommy doesn't want to embarrass you! Just know that we think you are the perfect baby no matter what!

Love Mommy

Monday, December 15, 2008

Not Me! Monday

Sadly Monday is here and I am back at work. Fortunately I have Not Me! Monday to pass away the time and give me giggles. I am not saying I take some pleasure in other peoples misfortunes. That would be mean.

  • Monkey did not sample the following things; Christmas tree, ornament, cat food, carpet, receipt, and cat. (Yes cat) He is not obsessed with putting everything in his mouth in the effort to sooth his poor gums. I do not let him suck on my chin because that seems to make him happiest.

  • The fuel pump did not go out on hubby's truck. That would be a sucky thing to happen right before Christmas. Firestone did not quote us $1300. We did not then find out it was covered under warranty and have the car towed again. That would be silly. Who pays for two toes when the car is under warranty? Not us!

  • I did not go Christmas shopping yesterday only to come home with two pairs of shoes for myself. I am never that selfish.

  • I know MckMama said not to blog about my period, but that made me think I have still not had a period since Monkey. (I do have the Mirna IUD) LOL I did not just announce to the world what birth control I use.

  • Monkey will not be 8 months old tomorrow. He is not growing up tooo fast. He is not obsessed with standing and does not do laps in his playpen. He did not spend most of the week sleeping in our bed. Hubby is not convinced that he hates his crib. That would be silly. Why would it occur to us to even think Monkey hates his crib!

  • Monkey does not only eat when I sing Itsie Bitsie Spider. I do not encourage this by singing as many versions of the song. My Itsie Bitsie Spider rap did not crack up the baby and cause him to spit risotto at me.

  • Monkey did not pee on the floor when I was letting him crawl around naked. Who would be foolish enough to let a 7 month old baby crawl around the floor without a diaper. I certainly was not trying to catch cute naked baby moments.

What did you not do lately?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

I am not always obsessed with the Baby! Delicate Flower lives with his dad during the school year, during the summer I try not to torture him too much. I did make everyone go for photos. Monkey's were awful. The family photos were awful. Brother pictures were awful. I LOVE these ones though.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Not Me! Monday

Where is the time going? Already a whole new weeks of things that never happened. Or if they did I wouldn't share. Check out the others on MckMama's list. I love honest denial.

  • We did not take Monkey for a second round of photos. If we had he certainly did not react like this.

  • I did not spend all week trying to make my blog Christmassy! I am a Project Manager for IT projects. Surely I have enough technical knowledge to do something like that in my sleep.

  • I did not just realize the mug on my desk is brewing some new life form. That would be gross. I am not putting off cleaning it because I know how gross it probably is. I will not probably wind up just throwing it away.

  • I did not buy more scrapbook supplies to add to the large pile of supplies I already don't use. I have not started on Monkey's baby book and I am not living in fear that my MIL will ask me. I do not pretend to love scrapbooking just to have something in common with my MIL.

What did you not do this week?

Friday, December 5, 2008

Oh Happy Pills

So the big Dr. appointment was yesterday. It was grueling. I have seen this psychiatrist before and I like him because he is pretty scientific when it comes to medicine. I also like that he listens to my concerns with taking medicine and works hard to find a good fit. He prescribed Cymbalta and Ambien. (Hubby is now on baby monitor duty)
He also prescribed the task of writing letters to my mother. He said bar none it is the most effective method for dealing with grief. Particularly when the death was sudden and unexpected like my mothers. The letters should trigger the brain to release the right chemicals. I'm then supposed to go back every couple weeks and read them again in the hopes that I will cry (not to hard to think that wouldn't happen.) Crying is the next best healer. And while I have been doing plenty of that, I don't know that I feel any better when I do. Not to mention I am so paralyzed by the fear that something else will happen to my family that sometime I'm crying over things that I just think will happen.
Anyway, I'll see how it goes. I'm optimistic. I did sleep last night so today I feel oodles better.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Public Service and Gift Ideas

My pregnancy with Monkey was difficult. It seemed like I failed (isn't that sad I think about it that way) every test under the planet when it was time to gage Monkey's health. The blood screen was just a couple points over for Downs. His heart was just a little off in the uber ultra-sound. Things like that. Maybe my Dr. was just very cautious. Maybe fate intervened. Fortunately by the time we saw every specialist, the issues would be gone. I don't know what I would have done if things worked out differently. I know that had we found something life-threatening with Monkey we would not have chosen to end the pregnancy. I believe in a woman's right to choose, but I also believe in life choosing life. I know that miracles happen. I know that science is not always exact. I believe in fate. I think my approach was just that we would be better prepared just in case. We were so blessed, just in case never happened and Monkey was a HUGE (9lb 5 oz) thriving active baby. My last trimester went without a single specialist visit for him.

I know there are families that are not so blessed. I know there are women that go through their pregnancy knowing the rate of survival for their infant is slim. My heart goes out to those women. String of Pearls is a ministry that supports families that have received a fatal prenatal diagnosis. Like all non-profits they rely on the kindness of thers. During this season of giving think about a donation in name for those hard to shop for people on your list.

"But Junita, how can I donate to String of Pearls?"
"Why I just so happen to know of an excellent fundraising program occurring right now, Rebel For A Cause."
What is that you ask? Rebel for a Cause is actually a union of three remarkable programs, String of Pearls, No Hands But Ours, and The Elison Project. For a donation of $10 you will be entered into a kick-ass raffle. The prizes make me drool. If the donation isn't in your budget, maybe you can mention this worthwhile cause on your own blog or network site. If nothing else maybe click on the sites and read the stories and keep the familes in your thoughts. There is never an overage of prayers.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


URGH - so I have only been working on a blogover for oh I don't know the ENTIRE day. I don't know why I felt compelled to decorate for Christmas virtually when I haven't even done so at home. Anyway - I hope to be finished tonight. In the mean time you may see some bad choices! I think wine is going to be required in order to finish.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Not Me! Sunday - woops Monday

I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday and did not overeat or shop. I, as always, had pleanty of things that I did not do. Make sure you check out others on MckMama's. There are always some gems.

  • We did not take Monkey for pictures on Sunday and have three outfit changes. I am sure the photographer did not roll her eyes at us. We did not then go for Santa pictures because that would be way to much to expect from a 7 month old. We are not going back next weekend for different Santa pictures because I am very disappointed in them. (Monkey was fabulous the pictures were awful!)

  • I did not break down after Grace on Thanksgiving because I missed my mom. My MIL did not then accuse my Husband of doing something to make me cry. I did not put off calling my dad on Thursday because I knew it would make me cry. Today is not her birthday and I am not having a hard time again.

  • My Husband does not have an Advent Calendar to my Dr. visit for happy pills. My boss has not jumped on that band wagon. I have not been a little difficult and unreasonable at work, I just want to finish tasks before the holiday. (I am a project manager. I have just been doing my job a little forcefully maybe.)

  • I did not wake up - lol - oh wait - Monkey was awake - I did not go to Kohl's at 4:00am just to save a few dollars. I was not overwhelmed by the crowd. It did not occur to me that it seemed like a lifetime ago that I was coming home at 4am and I did not use that time to reflect on how much my life has changed since Delicate Flower.

  • Monkey did not discover how to pull him self up this weekend. He certainly did not discover it in baby jail and then try to climb the sides. He did not spend the entire weekend despondent that he can stand up, but is entirely unsure what to do next. I did not find him half asleep standing in his crib. My Husband and I did not have a conversation that involved some sort of padded room or cage for Monkey.

  • Monkey did not decide his new favorite toy were an old pair of Birkenstocks. And even if he had, I would certainly have never let him chew on them.

  • I am not doing my not mes on a Sunday. That would be silly. I can easily do them on Monday and I don't care where I land on the list because this is free therapy and not a competition. I do not think that MckMama would be a little disappointed in me for thinking that. I also do not look up to MckMama and often wonder if maybe she is the miracle sometimes. (Not to take away from Stellan at all...ok I am gushing about another mother that I don't even know, but I do know her story has helped me in my time of need, and at a time that I didn't even know I would need it.)

Friday, November 28, 2008

Ok, whenever I need a laugh

I have to send a big thank you to MckMama for pointing me in this direction. I have been laughing and peeing my pants all night long. The older gentleman is one of my dads (I have two active, one deceased.) As soon as he got it he called me, he thought it was hysterical too. On a weekend that has been really hard we needed some mirth. Delicate Flower has not seen it yet and I know he is going to kill me!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Caged Monkey

I know for a fact he will hold these against me later! And yes, some babies have a comfort blanket, my child has a comfort sock. His older brother continues to VERY concerned.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Y oh Why?

I could save this one for tomorrow, but I have some time on my hands and it may take me until tomorrow to finish this one. Khadra oh so sweetly (I am not thinking mean negative thoughts about Khadra – I am thinking them about the random generator she used) assigned me the letter Y for this particular meme. I am supposed to name 10 of my favorite things that begin with the letter Y.

1. Yellow (Ok this is so easy) By far one of my favorite colors. Not to wear, but to have around me. If my husband was more of a pushover we would have it in every room of the house once we buy one.

Yep – already stumped. So forgive me if I use some creative license. This is my blog. I can do whatever I want right?

2. Yak – Yak you say? Really Junita how do you justify yak as one of your favorites? Well I love Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. Besides being easy on the eye – his willingness to try foods from every region of the world is mind boggling. One of my favorite episodes is where he goes to Tibet and samples some Yak milk and meat. YUM!

3. YMCA – One of
Monkey's my favorite songs and dances to sing and make Monkey do. He does giggle every time. It is also quite fun at weddings and other group events.

4. Yen – not because I love money – but I love the movie Lost in Translation. It is set in Tokyo. Yen is the currency for Japan. (This is almost, not quite fun)

5. Young – is how I feel most days, but five is the numbers of years my husband will always be younger than me.

6. Yams – love them in most shape and forms.

7. Yalta – I haven't been to this region of Europe and while I very just now researched it – I think it looks lovely!

8. Yaffle – my brand new very favorite animal! I mean c'mon what isn't there to like about a yaffle? It's a fun word to say too! (In case you don't know a yaffle is a European green woodpecker)

9. Yuk! What I say the most when Monkey goes poop. I say yuk a lot. I am almost sure this will be one of his first words. Except it will rhyme with yuk and start with a F because his parents daddy has the worse potty mouth in the planet.

10. Yo-baby - Monkey's favorite meal in the planet. I have never seen yogurt consumed so quickly. If there were a baby speed eating contest he would win, hands down.

Thank goodness I am done. Seriously I didn't even know 10 words that started with Y when I began!

Monkey Fever

Oh it was bound to happen. I nursed for as long as possible to give the best antigens and they finally ran out. ( I know that isn't how it works) Monkey had his first fever yesterday, 102.7. YIKES! Mommy panic set in. Delicate Flower hardly ever gets sick and given he hasn't been a baby for 13 years I have forgotten all the skills. Monkey was eating fine (if he had turned away from a meal we would be at emergency.) He was still giggling, but was a little less active than normal. He certainly was less monkeyish. We went to the Dr. today and indeed he has a sinus infection. No ear infection thankfully. So we are home sick today.
The boys (my cats) are thrilled.

I feel this is good practice for my future role of SAHM. If we have another baby I am so applying for this job. I know - it's probably easy the first day. For those of you that are SAHM, do you love it? Would you trade it? Do you plan on going back to work when your little ones are older? What was the deciding factor to stay home?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Not Me! Monday

Wow! Last week went by fast! I can't believe I have yet another action filled week of things that I don't do! Make sure you check out MckMama's page for other antics. (Who am I kidding - I know you are only reading mine because you came over from MckMama's page.)

  • We did not purchase such a large baby jail that a friend actually called it our baby habitat. We have not redecorated our house in what I like to call "post-modern baby"

  • I did not sulk while bra shopping. I did not discover that my cup size has gone down while my band size has gone up. The stupid scale has not moved for like a month now.

  • I did not rip open the card from the woman that received my mom's kidneys like it was going to contain some sort of message that would save the world. I do not have mixed emotions about the letters. I do not remind myself on a daily basis how fortunate I am that my mom was able to give this gift to someone else.

  • I am not a little bitter and angry today. My mom's birthday is not next week and I am not dreading it like the plague because I know it it going to be a really hard day for me.

  • I did not make enough Trifle for 30 when there were only 3. We are not going to be eating it until Christmas.

  • I did not watch my husband change his shirt about a bazillion times during the Giant game. He did not kick me out of the room to bring good luck.

  • I was not late to work every single day last week. That would be sooo unprofessional. I did not even have a good reason for being late. (Right because I wasn't late, none of this happened to me, but if I don't stop I will be late again!)

What did you not do this week?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Paula Dean - Um No - But Yum!

Ok this is what the recipe looked liked before I made it

This is what my version looked liked

It was still damn good! If you have a small army to feed, try this instead of pie - I was skeptical that it would feeds 20 - after a serving I am no longer! I actually had to put some down and I never turn away desert. We will half this recipe in the future. (THAT conversation also never happens in our house, we are normally calculating the increase.)

Pumpkin Trifle (Courtesy of Paula Dean)

  • 2 (14-ounce) packages gingerbread mix
  • 1 (5.1-ounce) box cook-and-serve vanilla pudding mix
  • 1 (30-ounce) can pumpkin pie filling
  • 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/3 teaspoon ground cardamom or cinnamon
  • 1 (12-ounce) container frozen whipped topping
  • 1/2 cup gingersnaps, optional
  • Bake the gingerbread according to the package directions; cool completely.
  • Meanwhile, prepare the pudding and set aside to cool.
  • Stir the pumpkin pie filling, sugar, and cardamom into the pudding.
  • Crumble 1 batch of gingerbread into the bottom of a large, pretty bowl.
  • Pour 1/2 of the pudding mixture over the gingerbread, then add a layer of whipped topping.
  • Repeat with the remaining gingerbread, pudding, and whipped topping. Sprinkle of the top with crushed gingersnaps, if desired.
  • Refrigerate overnight. Trifle can be layered in a punch bowl.

Your husband will look like this

Friday, November 21, 2008

100 Books

Khadra needs a meme - so I am stealing this one from Flea. Plus I want to go through it and see if Delicate Flower needs to start reading any of these. I am not as much as a voracious reader as I was in my past, but I am still a sucker for a good book. Who am I kidding? I am a sucker for a bad book as well. Right now I am reading Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lang. It is hysterical and touching at the same time. No, you don't have to be a Howard Stern fan to enjoy it, (the language and subject matter is NOT PG by any way shape or means.) Not that it is ever going to make this list, I am enjoying it!

Look at the list and bold those you have read.
Italicize those you intend to read.
Underline the books you LOVE.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible (Most)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I wish you enough

I am in a constant struggle to keep my email box organized. I am also battling with some bozo that decided MY email address would be a good one to use for every junk mail program in the world. As a result I am constantly coming across old emails from my mom. It's really like tearing off a band-aid most of the time. She and I would exchange emails sometimes 20 or 30 times a day. She lived in Creswell, OR and I live in Dallas. We would talk on the phone all the time too, but email was really her preferred stream of communication. Anyway I came across this one tonight. It's one that has been circulating for some time now, but of all the chain emails and stories this has always been my favorite and ironically it strikes so close to home right now.

I wish you enough!

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough."
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom"

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it
would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?"
I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip
back will be for my funeral," she said.
When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.
"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them".
Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire life to forget them.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Ghost writer position now open

I wasn't one for keeping a diary when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, I had my fair share of REALLY bad poetry attempts and short story attempts. Most stories involved me marrying Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran after he rescued me on the beach or I won some sort of concert lottery and he fell head over heals in love with me after serenading me on stage. So I know I have an imagination of sorts. What I don't have is an ability to write organically about day to day facts. Conversations kill me. And honestly I wonder who really cares? I know I had this whole tribute last week to the reason I blog; for me, Monkey, and memories. But what do you do when you suck at writing a memoir? Do people have ghost writers for their blogs? Can I have an auto-blogography? (Or would it be blogography? I always get those mixed up.) I know that is why I love memes. I know that is why I love the theme days. I suppose it is a matter of practice. I can always think of cute catchy titles. But part of me starts to panic when I think of an entire paragraph related to that title. I've only been blogging for two months! Already the ADD is setting in! I feel like I need an Adderal and a Xanax just to get through. What do you do to keep your blog fresh? How do you sharpen your writing skills and turn every day events into page clicking antics? Outside of adopting 20 small children I am a little at a loss. Or maybe I am over thinking as always. Because look - I just managed to write an entire blog about how I can't write. Genius, sheer genius.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Not Me! Monday

I wanted to try a little experiment this week and see if I really did do embarrassing things on a daily basis, but in typical form I failed to keep the list and I am frantically typing this before a meeting. Let me see if I can remember the things I haven't done. Make sure you jump over to MckMama's and see what other's don't do too!

  • Tuesday - I did not drink too much wine with my husband and argue about politics. We are far too mature and responsible. (In my defense I was at home)

  • Wednesday - I did not wear an entire outfit comprised of maternity clothes. My baby is seven months old and the baby weight has just melted off. I have no need to do that.

  • Thursday - I did not have an entire email exchange about poop. I did not consider renaming my blog "Poop, There it is!"

  • Friday - I did not make an appointment with the Dr. for some happy pills. I am dealing with life just fine. My mom's death is not monopolizing me and causing me to have a very minor nervous breakdown.

  • Saturday - I did not spend $50 at Lush for a free $20 gift when I had just gone in to get a $20 a gift. I did not justify the purchase with ridiculously expensive handcream because of all the poopy diapers I change.

  • Sunday - Ok - I don't have one for Sunday. Maybe I am not a lost cause. Or maybe I just took it off to rest.

  • Monday - I did not spend all morning waiting for Not Me to post!

What did you not do this week?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Little Man

Dear Monkey - you are 7 months old today! You are still the happiest tax day surprise I ever received. (Of course we knew you were coming by then) You are now almost 20 lbs and 26". You aren't quite crawling, but you have taken a couple crawls. You can creep FAST though. Your blue eyes are turning a lovely shade of green (just like your Nana.) You eat like a champ and have been sleeping in your own room in your own bed for a month now. You have been sleeping at night for a week now (knocking on wood.) Your favorite food is still banana, but you seem to love anything with a berry and yogurt. (What am I kidding you love all food pretty much) You love to make raspberry noises, watch football with Daddy, and snuggle with Mommy. I can still make you giggle when I sing songs about poop and do dances. (Mommy can't wait to tell your first date about "Poop, There it is" and shaking our tailfeather.) Big brother is very concerned that I do this - see he is already watching out for you! You just started saying Mama, but only when you are unhappy! You truly are a delight to everyone. Your smile lights up any room and we are so blessed. I love you sweet C!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Haiku fun

My writing challenge from Mama's Losin It.

635 Highway
White noise texan travelers
calm constant comfort

Thankful Thursday

Can you believe in just two short weeks we will be gorging on pie and turkey? In just six weeks we will watch our children shriek in delight (we hope) as they tear through their gifts. In just eight weeks we will great a new year. Where has this year gone? I find it baffling to think of the changes I have encountered this year. Really in just the past six months. It's bind boggling really. Today I devote to the reasons I am thankful for them.

I am thankful for Monkey. Seriously how can one not just appreciate this face

  • When I say he was our surprise, he really was. My husband was snipped. Hubby never went back for his VERY important follow-up exam. He apparently had some strong swimmers and I became pregnant last year in March. I lost that baby in May. We call her The Seahorse. It was awful. In July and August I began feeling awful - ALL the time. I took several pregnancy tests and they were all negative. In September I started bleeding at work. Not just a trickle - it was a flood. In my BIG BIG boss's office. (BTW he is a middle eastern man - he was never able to look at me the same) At my OB's office the next day in the sonogram chair the tech said, well, it looks like a baby in there. You are probably about 14 weeks. And low and behold a very happy and healthy Monkey came in April. I am thankful every day. We are going to try for one more next year.

  • I am thankful for my marriage. I was far too young with my first husband. We are good friends now, but we just didn't have the maturity to handle a marriage and a child. Husband number two is entirely different. He is very supportive and strives to support me. He honestly cares for Delicate Flower like his own son. He is a sucker for Monkey. He loves his own mom. He has his faults and I don't need to publicly bring those out. Suffice to say I am happy in my marriage and in love with my husband.

Ok - that is enough for now. I think most people should be so thankful. What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

At least dinner was yummy

Because today was crappity crap crap crap crap! Make sure you say that with the right inflection. I am grumpy and out of sorts and tired and just feel like all is not right in my head. It took all my energy to not burst into tears during a meeting today. A work meeting. An over the top uber important meeting that involved people like VP's. Seriously if someone had looked at me the wrong way I would have. It was bad enough I fumbled. I wont blame my boss. I will take ownership on not making better notes. I know I am slacking at work. I know I am teetering on a breakdown and I know I probably need to go see a Dr. about some happy pills. Soon. It's been a month since my mom and I am still mostly sad every day. And overwhelmed by her and thoughts of what she is missing. Overwhelmed by missing her. It is soooo hard. Just when I think it gets easier, I take a couple steps back. Normally on a day like today I would call her and whine a bit. She would comfort me and I would feel better. My husband tries and Monkey and Delicate Flower are a comfort but it's not quite the same. I do however have a yummy recipe for those days when you fell like crap!

Sausage and Sauerkraut (stolen from Nigella Lawson - I love her)
Heat oven to 400

1 bottle of Riesling (I know this sounds extravagant but you can find Riesling for cheap and it really does make a difference)

2lbs smoked sausage

3 Bay Leaves

1 Tsp peppercorns (the recipe calls for white but I used black)

A couple Tsp juniper berries (LOL not to be confused with cranberries - you can actually substitute capers. Juniper berries can be found where capers can be found (with olives)

1 package or 5 cups of sauerkraut drained

You can do this in your roasting pan or in a pot

Add all ingredients and bring to a boil

Place in roasting dish, cover with foil and cook for 30 minutes

Super yummy with my new favorite of baby gold potatoes. This is sure to be an "I've had a really bad day" regular.

What is your comfort dish?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Not Me! Monday

It never gets old. I'm not sure if MckMama will host. She snuck it in last week. I had some really good ones in the shower, I think they got rinsed away.
  • My Husband did not let out the world's largest toot and proceed to blame it on the cat. I did not find this hysterically funny and cry until I peed my pants. (Honestly Biscuit is such a prissy kitty I think he would rather die than have a noise like that escape from his body.)

  • I do not sing songs about poop to the Monkey set to 80's tunes. I do not find these hysterically funny either. I am not sure when my world started to revolve around poop and when it became such a source of humour.

  • Delicate Flower did not ask me for dating tips. He did not preface the conversation with "Mom, you used to be a girl" He is only 13 and far to young for dating (this I really believe but I am happy he worked up the cajones to actually ask someone) Not to mention the fact that I am actually still a girl. (Yes, I know technically I am a woman but is there an official cut-off? I'm not ready to make that official transition)

  • I did not spend a small fortune on Starbuck's coffee last week. I do not have a weakness for the holiday brews. It does not make my mouth water just thinking about Eggnog Latte. I am pretty sure I am the sole reason there are still three within a mile radius of my house. I am also pretty sure I am the sole supporter in Texas.

  • The lights did not just come on in my office which just shows how early I showed up! It is not time to get to some serious work.

What did you not do this week?

Sunday, November 9, 2008

C'mon to my house

I learned to make bread!

We can sit down for a nice dinner now that I finally have a kitchen table

And we can talk about the artwork because there is no TV to be seen in the kitchen!

When my mom finally got it together I was about 13 and she met my now step-dad Ken. We didn't have a TV. We always sat down for dinner. I know I could never convince my husband to throw out the TV, but now that we have a table, I want to sit down for dinner at least a few nights a week. I will check back in on this goal in a few weeks. In the mean time feel free to invite your self over for dinner. Tonight we had steak, cauliflower, new potatoes with bacon and mustard (way yummy!).

Friday, November 7, 2008

Tag - I'm it

Khadra at Crab Goggles tagged me. After I took her name in vain, I realized it gave me a subject and actually thought it wouldn't be so bad. And given she is one of my only readers, I didn't want to piss her off. hehe - So 7 things you never knew about me. Actually 7 things most people don't know about me -

1. I listen to Howard Stern every morning. I realize most women in my demographic shake their head at the horror but I find him funny and not as crass as you would think. He is excellent at interviews, surprisingly sympathetic, and 100% human. When I don't like what he says, I turn the channel.

2. I lived by myself when I was 11. In a bus. On a commune. So yes there were other grown-ups in the vicinity, but it was up to me to get up, eat, go to school, to do all those things that 11yr olds are meant to do. My mom would stop by occasionally to drop off food and check-in. She was suffering from some drug problems at the time. I honestly think I was better off.

3. I went to 14 different schools. No we weren't in the military. I used to make up extravagant stories to explain why I was coming in mid-year. Like I was coming off the musical tour of Annie, or we were Italian royalty, I was often believed.

4. I am terrified of f-r-o-g-s. To the point that I don't even like to say the word, I spell it.

5. I managed a shoe store for 6 years. I still love shoes. I have over 100 pairs. Since Monkey most of them do not fit and I can only wear 3 or 4 pair. Someone with a size 8 will probably be a lucky woman some day.

6. I never met my real father. When my mom finally gave me the information and I was able to look him up I found out he had died several years earlier. I was able to connect with his sister and we do talk occasionally. I look just like him.

7. I am Irish on both sides of my family, for many generations, on both of their sides. I finally broke the chain- Delicate Flower is Irish and Mexican. Monkey is Irish, German, and English.

I won't tag anyone. I will save that for later. That was fun though!

Oh the horrors

I work for a large corporation. We tend to be a little over the top PC. My boss is never PC. She never holds her tongue and she cracks me up. We have an abnormally creepy gentleman that sits on our floor. I about fell out of my chair when she forwarded me this email exchange

Please don’t spray air freshener in the break room where there’s uncovered coffee. I walked in there to get coffee and my papers off the copier and I literally walked face first into a fog of it and inhaled it. I don’t know if that’s why I taste it in the coffee or if it’s because some landed in the exposed pots. But either way, suffice it to say that it doesn’t taste as good as it smells!


I sit here all day and “inhale” a variety of things, most of them not pleasant, but please know I didn’t spray a fog into the uncovered coffee… but just like the breakroom smells that migrate over to me, I am sure the airfresher does what it is supposed to do, …which is break up the odors. If you smell some of it, that’s kinda the point to cover up some of the odors that come out of there every day all day. If you would like to sit here some time with me during the day to actually experience hours and hours of the distasteful smells, odors that often burn my eyes and turn my stomach, (and the loud noices and discussions that go on in there about personal issues etc) and discuss let me know.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – I am so going to eat fish tomorrow and speak loudly about my birth experience. Seriously I would love to know what odor burns his eyes. I have been there when he sprays the room spray, it pretty much prompts an instant migraine for me.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I promise it won't collect dust

Look - see - I even have toys to prove that I don't cook sometimes. My husband is soo sweet sometimes all the time. LOL and he got it from QVC (shocking). We saw the Big Brown Tuck and ran for the door because we just got Monkey to sleep. I will let you know as soon as I use it. I have a work potluck next week, so actually I know it will be soon. I am thinking I can whip up some pumpkin cookies in a snap. Like a bazillion of them. This bad boy is big! 600 watts. My daddy isn't a race car driver for nothing!

Thankful Thursday

Thanksgiving is getting closer and and closer. I believe there are 21 days to go. I think there are only like 48 more days until Christmas. (My math skills are baffling - I know) Thankful Thursday's aren't going to stop once the holidays are over. I was thinking in the shower this morning why I blog and what I expect to get out of it. I think like everyone it is a form of therapy. I know I have maybe one reader, so truly this is for me. It is a way to journal my thoughts and activities. It will be a way to remind myself how I felt in the year after my mom's death. It will be a way to remind myself how special this first year of my marriage and Monkey's life is. So without further ado:

  1. I am thankful for blogging. For all the people that blog. For the reasons above and for so many more. I am thankful that there are people that are willing to share their miracles and tragedies. I am thankful for the people that share their mundane day to day activities and for the moms of multiples and the moms that hope to have multiples. For all the lives I never knew were out there I have a chance to glimpse into.

  2. I am thankful for Blue and Biscuit. My first two boys. Woops - haha - Delicate Flower really is my first boy. While they have yet to truly learn where their kitty box is located is, (Blue has a fondness for the corner next to the shower) they still are a calming comfort. Biscuit is soo good with the baby. I'm pretty sure he thinks he is his most of the time.

  3. I am thankful for my job. I know I haven't been applying myself 100% as of late. But I do truly love it. It's really stressful, and I think I need to go back on ADD medicine. I had stopped in the pregnancy and felt confident that I managed without it, but I think with everything going on it's time to make a visit to the dr. and have some conversations.

  4. Ok, this is going to sound completely ridiculous, but I am thankful for QVC. I used to think it was some silly crappy shopping channel full of spotted dalmatians, but QVC has actually enabled to have some nice things in my house that I normally couldn't buy. It is affordable and it is quality. And given that I try to pay for everything in cash, their flex pay system let's me buy things like a TV a little sooner than if I saved the money for it.

  5. I am thankful that Delicate Flower really seems to be finding himself this year. I think I already said this, but I can't say it enough. He had a really tough time last year and has been making every effort to ensure this year is not a repeat.

  6. What are you thankful for?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Like it or not, history is in the making

Monday, November 3, 2008

Not Me! Monday

It truly is the only reason I love Monday's. Normally MckMama would host, and I haven't given up hope yet! I mean c'mon, she's been home from the hospital for a day now and she only has four children. She should be up and around to serve the blogging community with no problem. With all sincerity I had never been so happy for a stranger as when I learned her newest addition was so healthy and his heart seems to be problem free. Her story truly is inspiring and a true testament of faith. With that being said I had a full week of things I most definitely never did:

  • I did not burst into tears when I learned MckMuffin was delivered healthy and problem free. I do not secretly think MckMama is my BFF and call my husband regularly to tell him what she says in her blog.

  • I did not go to Target to buy Halloween candy and leave without the candy but instead with new jammies for myself. I did not justify the jammies with the excuse that they made Monkey happy. (Really he smiled very big when I showed them to him. Pink with Monkey's all over them. I love that Target carries Nick and Nora now)

  • I did not gain back the 2 pounds that I worked so hard to lose.

  • Monkey has not reverted back to waking every two hours and inhaling a bottle. My lovely husband can not let him cry and despite our best determination we have not completely let Monkey take over the house and let him dictate our every move. (Who would think a six month old baby would be so powerful)

  • I did not measure Monkey's baby boobs to determine what size baby bra he possibly would wear. He would not wear a C.

  • I do not continue to miss my mom every day and I did not include her when I sent out pictures of Monkey. Honestly I didn't even think about it.

What did you not do this week?

Friday, October 31, 2008

Religion for Dummies

HAHAHAHA - ok I just typed it in on whim. I really didn't think such a book existed. Maybe I should start my own church. The not sure about religion religion. You can come to my house, I will cook, you will admire my baby, we will play some games and discuss God. A pretty typical night!

Thankful Thursday

Yes yes it is Friday. I am going to do some advance daylight savings and pretend it is Thursday. I think it is important for me to remind myself the things I am thankful for right now.

  1. I am always thankful for Monkey's happy smiling face. He really has been such a comfort during this time. Even when he is unhappy I am still reminded by how blessed I am.
  2. I am thankful for Delicate Flower's outlook and sense of humor. He truly is an amazing child and I am baffled that he has such a strong head on his shoulders. LOL - I am not baffled that he has one, but I am baffled that he is of my genes. He is a unique gentle spirit and I think I used to be wary of how he would develop, but he proves to me on a daily basis that I have nothing to worry about.
  3. I am thankful the stupid elections are almost over. Truly - shoot me now. I am over both of the candidates.
  4. I am thankful for my new cookbooks. I cook rarely, so when I do I want it to be special. I ordered Nigella Express(because I secretly want to be Nigella Lawson), a new Weight Watchers, and Tyler Florence (added bonus some yummy sounding baby food recipes).
  5. I am thankful for November. November means Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving means Christmas. Christmas means so many things to me and I can't wait for this one!

What are you thankful for?

Wordless Wednesday

A little late -

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Precious Monkey and Religion

We went to the Farmer's Market on Saturday morning and they had a couple pumpkin patches. I couldn't resist some photo ops of Monkey and the pumpkins.

During the drive over to downtown, (Ironically the location of the Farmer's market in Dallas), my husband and I were talking about church. Lately I have been thinking that church might be a good place for us to make some "family" friends, and also I think it is important for Monkey to be exposed. I also see so many people take so much comfort in their faith and I wonder if some exploration would be beneficial to me as well. I have to tell you, my faith is very slim right now. I would be hard pressed to explain with any confidence what I do believe in. I am still at a loss as to where to even start as it seems out requirements are pretty specific-
"Honey, I think we should look into church"
"I agree, I want Monkey to go to Sunday school"
"I don't want it to be all hell fire and brimstone though"
"What about Lutheran, it's like Catholic light"
"Ummm, maybe. I guess I would need to read up on it"
"I want to go early though. I want to be home in time for football"
"Ok - so like a 10 am service?"
"I was thinking 8:50"
"Really - you honestly think we can find a service that starts at 8:50? It isn't enough that we need to find a church that isn't overly religious, is non preachy, and now we need service to start at 8:50 to accommodate football"

Jeez! Any assistance would greatly be appreciated!

Monday, October 27, 2008

"Not Me!" Monday

It’s hard to believe how quickly Mondays come. At least MckMama makes them a little more enjoyable with her “Not Me!” Monday carnival.

  • I was not crushed when I missed last weeks “Not Me!”. That would be silly to think I put any energy in my blog. Besides last weeks was very depressing and it is probably better that I did not share.

  • I did not spend $4 on 4 tomatoes. That would be a excessive. Especially if you consider I am the only person at home that eats tomatoes. I also did not consume all four tomatoes on my favorite meal of eggplant, parmesan, basil, and tomato. (Bake at 400 for 20 minutes.) That would be glutinous.

  • I have not cried every other hour. I am not still completely crushed and contemplating putting a ticker for the supposed year of grief that one is supposed to take. I am not convinced that would make me feel better. I also did not completely dissolve into tears last night when Monkey took his first “crawl” because I could not call my mom and tell her.

  • I did not feel a little guilty that we had a nice day at the pumpkin patch and farmers market.

  • Monkey did not eat his macaroni and cheese in about two seconds flat the other day. That would admit that he was as equally as glutinous as his momma.

  • Monkey has not outgrown his infant car seat at six months old. He does not weigh almost 19 pounds and sprouting baby boobs and the heartiest thighs I have ever seen on a baby.

    What have you not done this week?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Thankful Thursday

Yes - I realize it is Friday. I am a day or so on everything it would seem. I came home on Monday and have been in a fog ever since. I am pretty sure I went to bed at 7pm last night, right behind Monkey. They say it takes a full year to grieve. With that being said let's get to number 1:

  1. I am thankful I survived the first week after my mother's death. It doesn't seem to be getting any easier, but it is becoming more real.
  2. I am thankful Monkey has started sleeping through the night. Granted it has been six months coming, and he has only slept through 4 nights, but I will take what I can get.
  3. I am thankful my husband is feeling better. I don't have much patience right now and I feel bad that I wasn't able to be very empathetic.
  4. I am thankful the weather is actually getting cold. It seemed like just the other day I was thankful the heat was going. I wonder how long it will be before I am thankful for the heat again!
  5. I am thankful it is Friday. This has been an impossibly hard time at work and I am looking forward to some quiet time at home with my husband and Monkey.

What are you thankful for?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

"Not Me!" Monday

It’s time for “Not me! Monday”, hosted by the always charming and due any day now MckMama. (We won’t mention that it is Tuesday.)

• I am not going to write my entire not mes list about my mom’s death. That would be morbid. I do have other things happening in my life at this time.

• I am not struggling at work today. I know people are only trying to show they care. I did not almost break down when I found an email from my mom from last summer. I am not going to have a difficult time not emailing my mom. I never exchanged a bazillion emails a day with her from work. I way too important and busy to have exchanged emails all day with my mother.

• I do not have a speech well rehearsed that explains the details and events of my mothers death. I have not already told it numerous times this morning. I am sure I could say it in my sleep.

• I did not pick out a scattering urn for my mom with my step-dad the other day. That would mean that she did really die. She was only 54 how could that have really happened.

• I am not completely breaking down and have to stop. This isn’t as cathartic as I had hoped.

• On a positive note – Monkey did not wake up every two hours and howl like a banshee. He has slept through the night for two nights straight!

What have you not done this week?

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Conversation with Q(Delicate Flower) yesterday. I called to see how he was doing since he has lost his great-grandfather, his Nana, and his big toe nail all in one week.
"Hi Q how is everything"
"How is your toe feeling?"
"Fine, um Mom....I have a friend over, I don't really have time for small talk right now. I'll call you when I have some free time"
"Oh - alrighty then. You call me when you have some free time."

Honestly! I can say he has become a teenager!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thankful Thursday

Ok- if last week I thought I was just a little stressed and thankless. Today I may have pushed my limit. While I am not trying to make lemonade out of lemons, I know my mom wouldn't want me to sulk. I am allowed to grieve. I will. Out of this whole bizarre mess, there were some things to be thankful for:

  1. I am thankful that the stroke that took my mother's life occurred while she was in the hospital. She was able to be placed on life support and then declared brain dead. It was her wish to be an organ donor and that wish was able to be honored. Her lungs, heart, corneas, tissue, and kidneys will allow others people to either live longer or live better. She was such a devout recycler I know she is just ecstatic that no part of her will go to waste.
  2. I am thankful I was able to make it up here to say goodbye.
  3. I am thankful I was able to see my grandmother. I was once again reminded one shouldn't only see their family under bad circumstances.
  4. I am thankful Delicate Flower decided not to come. It would not have been a good way to remember his beloved Nana.
  5. I am thankful for all the kind words and memories. I am learning of a part of my mom I never knew from her friends.
What are you thankful for today?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Finding Courage

I read blogs all the time where women of all types find extraordinary courage in them to accept their path in life. I always marvel at the faith it must take to accept and believe in the hand that you have been dealt. I always wonder if I could ever be that brave. This week I get to find out. My mom has had a massive stroke. She is only 54. This is the most unexpected event. I am still in shock. She is on life support. There is massive bleeding on her brain. I leave tomorrow morning to say goodbye. When they take her off she will be gone. It will be my turn to accept this is my path in life. Right now I really don't want to go down it.