Oh Happy Pills

So the big Dr. appointment was yesterday. It was grueling. I have seen this psychiatrist before and I like him because he is pretty scientific when it comes to medicine. I also like that he listens to my concerns with taking medicine and works hard to find a good fit. He prescribed Cymbalta and Ambien. (Hubby is now on baby monitor duty)
He also prescribed the task of writing letters to my mother. He said bar none it is the most effective method for dealing with grief. Particularly when the death was sudden and unexpected like my mothers. The letters should trigger the brain to release the right chemicals. I'm then supposed to go back every couple weeks and read them again in the hopes that I will cry (not to hard to think that wouldn't happen.) Crying is the next best healer. And while I have been doing plenty of that, I don't know that I feel any better when I do. Not to mention I am so paralyzed by the fear that something else will happen to my family that sometime I'm crying over things that I just think will happen.
Anyway, I'll see how it goes. I'm optimistic. I did sleep last night so today I feel oodles better.